Yo dont text me then not text me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize