Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
