Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize