3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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