this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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