I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
