is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i think im in europe. pls send help
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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