tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
