HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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