That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
