he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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