I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
