oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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