My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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