um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's just like the Real World with babies
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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