fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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