Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
