there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
