I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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