i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize