Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
