dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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