I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Gay?
German.
Pity.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
