This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize