I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
