I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
vagina is talking i cant
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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