mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize