i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize