From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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