I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
