I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
pop tarts are not kleenex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We had to coat check the pizza.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
