I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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