Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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