Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
