dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
