She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
