last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
