my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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