That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
