what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
