I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
