Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
