What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
either way he was missing a nipple.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
