I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
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Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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