Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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