I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
