Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
