so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
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I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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