I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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