go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize