I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
