Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
