I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
