All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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