I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
