I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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