I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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