I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
