some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
